It Gets Easier

wednesdays with wayne Jun 21, 2023

Stepping up, stepping in – 

I haven’t been super consistent. But when I am, it’s amazing how much it fuels just repeatedly doing that thing I had let go. It almost becomes self-perpetuating. 

The self-perpetuating piece is about momentum vs. inertia. That’s science. That’s psychology, too.

 

Momentum is easier to keep going if you don’t have to overcome inertia each time.

 

Bad at flossing your teeth? Put your floss right near your toothbrush so you pick it up first.

Bad at exercising? Put your exercise clothes on before you go to bed, you’ll have to take them off at some point and it’s a mental challenge to take them off to get into fresh clothes without at least moving a little.

 

The key here is that getting over small humps in the road can create the momentum needed to get other the next hump, and the next and the next. Once you’re on a path that productive, it actually feels worse to stop than it...

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Notice the Resistance

wednesdays with wayne Jun 14, 2023

I have a fish tank that brings me peace. The sound of the fountain-like flow from the filter into the tank’s water creates an atmosphere that is tranquil. I barely hear it, but it’s there, in the background.

 

The fish find the current and the structures to swim through. There was a point when I’d open the lid and they’d come to the top and I’d pet them. Yep, I used to pet my fish. They seemed to appreciate it because, though I know they were waiting for food, they hung out at the top while I’d talk to them and give them attention.

 

Odd… them and me, I know.

 

Today’s blog isn’t about my quirks, though. It’s about the other quirks we have in common. I really don’t like having to clean the tank. It’s almost an hour out of my day. It requires me to get wet and yucky, and I could be doing other more productive things.

 

So, even though I have “Fish Tank” listed on my priority to do...

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Doubting the Doubt

wednesdays with wayne Jun 07, 2023

Think of your biggest aspiration, your biggest future goal or desire.

 

Mine is big, really big. Really, really big.

And sometimes, everyyyyy so often, I wonder whether I’ll get there. Will I ever get what I truly desire? 

 

Doubt creeps in.

 

And guess what!

While we ALL have doubt from time to time, I don’t allow any of those thoughts to linger.

 

My really, really, really big goal will happen because in my mind, it already has. The journey is underway. And yes, obstacles pop up. Yes, it seems so big that I wonder if it’s really something I should pursue. And no, that thought doesn’t get to live with me. 

 

As I write, those sentences about “wondering if” come up the way I’d describe something mundane to someone. That is, they’re distant from me. I don’t keep them around. They’re a menu item that I read and choose not to order.

 

The flip side of that is that the rest of the menu is...

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You ARE The Champion

wednesdays with wayne May 31, 2023

You know that I’m cheering you on. We’re deep into this year and you’ve done so much already. Yes, yes, you still have a lot on your to-do list. You’re on a great trajectory with pretty darn good momentum.

 

Hiccups and setbacks are a part of the process. 

 

And besides my cheering you on, there’s one voice you need to listen to with great attention – Yours. Your voice and the whispers of desire that tell you what you really want. Listen to that voice. 

 

The voice of shame and doubt, that’s never your voice.

Think about it, when you hear phrases like “You can’t do that” or “you don’t deserve that, you haven’t earned it” or “who are you to think like that? you’re not good enough” – that voice is never yours. It’s one you integrated from a family member, teacher, clergy, or some other authority figure.

 

Your whispers and your desires, your...

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Shiny or Scarred – aka Scar Power!

wednesdays with wayne May 24, 2023

Don’t let it show.

Cover it up.

Conceal anything that looks like a flaw.

 

Phhhhhhhttttt!  

NO! 

 

In my first book, Choosing Your Power, I talked about how we humans are perfectly flawed. We are, in fact, already perfect. If there were an ideal of perfection and everyone looked like that, just think how boring the world would actually be! 

 

The truth is, perfection is a verb. 

Sure there’s a noun, the state of being perfect, and you get there by perfecting the thing that you’ve dared to bring out of you.

 

Perfection is a dynamic, iterative process.

 

Perfection, the art of perfecting something, is a dynamic (never static) process.

And it’s iterative. It doesn’t come out as one and done. You didn’t. Not when you learned to walk, ride a bicycle, talk, or read. 

 

We love seeing the shiny and perfect.

And, I’m pretty sure if you think about it, you actually really like the dusty and...

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Don’t Say It Out Loud!

wednesdays with wayne May 17, 2023

“Shhhhh! Don’t say it out loud; you’ll jinx it.”

 

Have you ever heard that?

Have you ever said that? 

 

I know, I used to be superstitious and felt like if I said a wish out loud or told anyone what I truly desired, that somehow it would be taken away from me. If I dared to tell someone my deepest wish, somehow, I’d be popping my own balloon.  

 

But then I started studying.

 

And I started experimenting.

 

And I encouraged others. And they started experimenting.  

 

It turns out that when you DARE TO DECLARE, you burst any feelings of jinxing something.

 

Here’s a solid truth for your consideration: 

CLARITY gives you certainty. 

And certainty builds confidence.

 

If you’re not confident, you’re giving energy to doubt. 

Where do YOU choose to put your energy?

Where do you CHOOSE to put your energy?

 

You know that you get more of what you focus on,...

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Justify and Ration Of Lies

wednesdays with wayne May 10, 2023

Last week I wrote about just because you said you wanted something at one point in your life doesn’t mean that you need to keep doing that thing or retain that thing. The world has changed. You have changed.

 

That said, you may have goals and dreams and big aspirations that haven’t changed. And you may have things that need to get done to reach those big goals and dreams.

 

You need to do them.

And you need to do other things too.

 

I’m there with you. 

I find the other things that are important and keep me focused and feed my dopamine levels as I gamify how much I can get done.

 

Meanwhile, the things that are needle-movers for the goal sit.

 

And sit.

 

And sit.

 

And then comes the justifying and ration-of-lies-ing that we step into. The other stuff is SOOOO important. 

 

What about the goals? Did they stop being important?

You didn’t change them up. You just found other things to do before moving towards...

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That's NOT What I Wanted At ALL

wednesdays with wayne May 03, 2023

I just ordered lunch.

It arrived without incident.

Seeing it in front of me, everything shifted. That’s NOT what I wanted at all. 

 

Something shifted for me this time.

I didn’t eat it because I had ordered it.

I didn’t finish it because I paid for it and had to get every last piece of value out of what I had paid for.

I didn’t dive right in because I had committed to it and therefore needed to follow through with some sense of obligation.

 

No, I took a couple of bites, decided I had had enough, and put the rest away.

 

This WEDNESDAYS WITH WAYNE Blog post isn’t about food. It’s about decision making.

 

I got the value from my meal at the time I placed my order. 

 

When I purchase anything, when I open a new book, when I start a new project, when I’ve joined a new group, I give myself permission to pursue it to the fullest or to simply back away because it’s a mismatch. 

 

Alignment with...

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Renewal or Retreat?

wednesdays with wayne Apr 26, 2023

Change is in the air! Isn’t it great to see the new life that bursts through in the Springtime?! Trees have buds and flowers. Bees are back out. Birds are busy. And in town, things seem to be a little more bustling, too. 

 

There’s a different sense about the world, as well, right? 

You can feel it.

You can sense it, smell it, and feel the change happening.

 

And for the most part, we all think that’s pretty glorious.

(Some of us who have the seasonal pollen battle are mixed about how “glorious” this time of year is.) What’s true is that this time of year, the same way Autumn brought us the changing leaves and yielded to winter that gave us rain and snow (in most of North America, anyway), and that’s now offering up to us the Springtime changes we’re seeing all around us. 

 

What’s ironic is that as much as we look forward to the natural changes that we see outside of ourselves, we seldom look to the...

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Look Outside, It’s Who???

wednesdays with wayne Apr 19, 2023

Look up and away from whatever you’re reading this on. 

See what’s out there? 

 

Outside of you are forces that attempt to impact you. 

There are people, noises, weather conditions, smells, and so much more.

 

Notice that I said that they attempt to impact (or influence) you? 

You’ve got voices of authority clamoring to be heard. And everything else. It’s all sensory noise.

 

None of it – NONE OF IT – needs to affect your plans for becoming your next amazing iteration of yourself, as leader or friend or partner or explorer or philanthropist or whatever role you put yourself in. Nothing outside of yourself needs to affect your trajectory unless you deliberately call it in to support you in your quest.

 

And the quest could be simply to have a quieter future. That’s cool, too. Nothing outside of you needs to affect your path unless you deliberately call it in to support you on your path.

 

Some key...

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